21 Things

For Tyler, who turns 21 tomorrow; born May 27^th, 1993. 

21 Things

1. You were born with huge balls, big purple over sized balls.  Your father was so proud.  Then the doctor told us that was normal and that your balls would reduce to regular size within a few days.
2. When you were a few weeks old I would put you in your baby seat and just watch you, like a good television show, only more enjoyable. Then one day you projectile vomited all over me, like The Exorcist.
3. At three years old you liked to go to the grocery store, you liked the aisles and all the cool boxes.  Then one day you darted in between the cereal, hiding way beyond arms reach: scurrying around like Newt from Aliens, the 1986 science fiction action horror film. We eventually found you on the top shelf next to the Cream of Wheat.  The store butcher had to lure you down with a peppermint candy.
4. When you were 4 years old we threw you a giant Scooby Doo party.  You cried.
5. When you were 5 we took you to a holiday party of some old friends of ours.  You slid down the banister then got your head stuck in between the railings.  It was surprising because your ears weren’t that big.
6. When you were still 5 years old, and this could have been the same party, you talked all the other kids into taking off all of their clothes.  The party ended right after that.
7. When you were 6 you started school and I cried that entire first day.
8. When you were 7 you wrote a poem about the rain and painted a watercolor to match.  It still hangs framed in our home.
9. When you were 7, almost 8, you invented an ice-cream bar.  Layers of ice cream, candy, sprinkles, and cereal: frozen and covered in chocolate.  People still talk about it today.  It’s legendary.
10. When you were 8 years old you went ass over teakettle on your bike.  This was the first time you realized you weren’t invincible.
11. When you were nine you made friends with a group of fire dancers practicing in the park, you invited them over to your ninth birthday party.  And they came.  And they performed. For free.
12. When you were ten you wanted a bowling party with all of your friends.  Ten young boys- pre hormonal and angst with pre hormonal confusion took a sharpie and wrote “Sweaty Balls” all over a bowling pin.  You got to take it home.
13. When you were 11, I don’t remember 11, or 12, except at 12 you started the eye roll and I swear if I could have harnessed it as an energy source I might have been a millionaire.
14. Now I remember why I can’t remember 11 almost 12… that was the year your sister was born.  You were there, right there… I mean, RIGHT THERE the moment she was born.  You bought her very first teddy bear. She still has it, and you’ve become the best big brother I could have ever imagined.  –Thank you
15. When you were 13 you went away to overnight basketball camp.  You took everything in your room with you.  Everything!
16. When you were 14 you started high school and I cried that entire first day. (I’m kidding, I didn’t. Really.  Just half the day. Swears!)

17 – 20.  You grew up.

21. I couldn’t be more proud of the man you’ve become.

Congratulations!  And HAPPY BIRTHDAY! 

This list inspired by the incredibly fabulous Girl in Hat and her writing challenge today on the Daily Post!